As we approach Jewish Disability Awareness and Inclusion Month this February, I want to address the stigma surrounding disability.

Disability is a concept often surrounded by misunderstanding, fear, and, unfortunately, stigma. These societal attitudes create a divide between those of us living with disabilities and those who do not. This divide is not the result of our disabilities themselves but stems from deeply ingrained misconceptions and biases that shape how people perceive and interact with us.
One of the most damaging aspects of this stigma is the prevalence of assumptions. When people make assumptions about what it means to live with a disability, they often form inaccurate perceptions. These perceptions, in turn, lead to negative attitudes, fear, or even pity—none of which foster meaningful understanding or connection. For instance, many assume that disability equates to helplessness, incompetence, or a lesser quality of life. These ideas not only miss the richness and diversity of our experiences but also perpetuate harmful stereotypes.
The result? We become unseen, unheard, and unvalued. Society constructs barriers—not just physical but emotional and social barriers—that make it difficult for people with disabilities to fully participate in their communities. These false attitudes and limited perspectives create environments where disabled people are excluded, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s a form of erasure, one that denies us agency and recognition as full members of society.
But let’s be clear: the issue is not the disability itself—it’s the societal attitudes surrounding it. The fear of saying or doing the wrong thing often leads to avoidance, which only reinforces the divide. Pity, on the other hand, reduces us to objects of charity rather than recognizing our potential and contributions. Both responses stem from a lack of understanding of what it truly means to live with a disability.
Another harmful mindset is seeing disabled people as individuals who need to be "fixed" rather than supported. This perspective can strip away autonomy and dignity, reducing people to medical or technical problems to be solved. While advancements in medicine and technology can improve quality of life, the emphasis should be on accessibility and inclusion rather than forcing disabled individuals to conform to a standard of "normalcy." Accessible design, assistive technology, and community support enable individuals to thrive without implying their worth depends on becoming less disabled.
A related issue is the tendency to see disabled people as "inspirational" simply for existing. While it’s natural to admire resilience, this perspective can be dehumanizing. It places an undue burden on disabled individuals to perform positivity or bravery for the comfort of others, rather than allowing them to simply live their lives. Worse, it can create an environment where systemic issues, such as lack of accessibility or discrimination, are overlooked because the focus shifts to individual narratives of "overcoming" rather than collective responsibility for change.
Perceptions of people with disabilities as having less value can also lead to dangerous policy decisions. This was starkly evident during the COVID-19 pandemic when the allocation of medical resources often prioritized "healthy" individuals over disabled or chronically ill people. Such actions reflect deeply ingrained biases that equate disability with diminished worth. These policies send a clear message: some lives are considered more expendable than others. Combating this requires a fundamental shift in how society values disabled people—not just in words but in concrete actions.
Breaking down these barriers starts with each of us taking a hard look at our own assumptions and biases. It’s not always easy to admit that we hold biases, but acknowledging them is the first step toward meaningful change.
When you encounter someone with a disability, take a moment to examine your initial thoughts and feelings. Do you feel awkward, overly sympathetic, or uncertain about how to interact? Do you dread the questions that your children may ask when they encounter a person with a disability? Ask yourself why. These gut reactions often reveal the unconscious biases that shape our behavior.
Think about the stereotypes you might have absorbed from media, culture, or your upbringing. Have you been conditioned to see disabled people as dependent, incapable, or as "inspirations" simply for existing? Recognizing these patterns allows you to begin questioning and dismantling them.
One of the best ways to challenge assumptions is to listen to the experiences of disabled people directly. Seek out blogs, podcasts, books, and social media platforms where disabled individuals share their stories. Their perspectives can offer invaluable insights into what life with a disability truly entails.
By the same token, don’t rely solely on disabled people to educate you—take the initiative to learn about disability rights, accessibility, and inclusion. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to approach these issues with sensitivity and understanding.
When interacting with someone who has a disability, approach with curiosity and respect. Avoid making assumptions about their needs or experiences. Instead, ask thoughtful questions and let them guide the conversation about what they’re comfortable sharing.
Once you’ve begun to identify your biases, the next step is to actively work toward recognizing the difference between seeing someone as an equal and feeling sorry for them. Empathy is about understanding and valuing their perspective, while pity places them in a lesser position.
Shifting language can make an impact on perceptions and assumptions. Consider the difference between "helping" and "supporting." Helping can sometimes imply that you see someone as helpless. Supporting means working together in a way that respects their autonomy and dignity. Use your voice to call out exclusionary practices or ableist attitudes. Whether it’s at work, in public spaces, or online, advocating for change helps create a more inclusive society.
Unlearning biases takes time. What matters most is your willingness to keep growing and to remain open to feedback from disabled individuals.
Living with a disability should not mean living in isolation. It’s time to move beyond outdated perceptions and create a society where everyone, regardless of ability, feels empowered to connect, contribute, and thrive. Identifying and addressing your own biases is a powerful step in this process.
Let’s strive for a world where disabled people are not just seen and heard but celebrated as integral members of the human experience. When we break down the stigma and embrace inclusion, we make room for everyone to thrive—together.
By Michelle Friedman
Michelle Friedman is the board chair of Keshet in Chicago, a member of Disability Lead and has been a disability advocate for 40 years. She has written two children’s books and is a frequent speaker for elementary and high school-age students.

"Let’s strive for a world where disabled people are not just seen and heard but celebrated"
This sentence bothers me...it seems to put people with disabilities above all others...to be celebrated rather than just part of the fabric of society. Just something to think about regarding the choice of verbiage.
If I don't have a disability does that mean that I don't get celebrated? I like being celebrated 😉
Ellen