What I Would Tell My Younger Self

As Disability Pride Month comes to a close, I’ve find myself deep in reflection. This time of year always stirs up memories—some difficult, some empowering—but all part of the journey that led me to who I am today. This year, one thought keeps coming back to me: What would I tell my younger self?

When I was a child, teen, and even a young adult living with a visual impairment, I went to great lengths to hide my disability. I did everything I could to not appear different. I believed that if I could just blend in, I’d be okay. I wouldn’t be judged. I wouldn’t be seen as “less than.”

I twisted myself in knots to fit into a world that didn’t make room for people like me. I didn’t want to use my magnifier in class. I didn’t want to be the one who had to sit right up at the board, or the one who needed extra help during tests. I didn’t want to explain why I had to leave class for eye appointments or why my textbooks looked different from everyone else’s. I didn’t want anyone to know.

But in hiding my disability, I also hid parts of myself. There were so many times I couldn’t join in with my friends—not because I didn’t want to—but because participating would mean outing myself. So I pulled away. I chose invisibility over vulnerability, and in doing so, I isolated myself.

When I look back now, it’s no wonder my teenage years were so hard. I was doing acrobatics to avoid being seen as disabled, and it was exhausting. The energy I spent trying to be “normal” could’ve been used to actually live—to connect, to grow, to explore who I was meant to be.

I’ve now been totally blind for almost 33 years. I’ve raised children. I’ve worked in a field I love. I’ve stayed active socially, and I’ve taken on leadership roles in my community. And guess what? I’ve done it because of who I am—not in spite of it.

Learning nonvisual skills gave me the tools I needed to thrive. But more importantly, embracing my identity gave me the freedom I never knew I was missing.

So what would I tell my younger self?

I’d say:

Sweet girl, you are not broken. You are not less than. You are whole exactly as you are. You don’t have to pretend or perform to be worthy. You are already enough.

Stop shrinking yourself. Stop hiding. You have a voice—use it. You have questions—ask them. You need help—ask for it. These are not signs of weakness; they are signs of strength.

The things you think make you different are the very things that will make you shine. One day, you will understand that. And on that day, you’ll no longer waste your energy trying to fit in. Instead, you’ll use it to build spaces where others feel safe to be themselves, too.

Disability pride isn’t just about celebration—it’s about liberation. It’s about finally being free to take up space. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that freedom tastes a whole lot better than fitting in ever did.

Written By Michelle Friedman

Michelle Friedman is the board chair of Keshet in Chicago, a member of Disability Lead and has been a disability advocate for 40 years. She has written two children’s books and is a frequent speaker for elementary and high school-age students. #AllInForAllAbilities